Last time we explored the issue of inner leprosy, the fact that all of us are sinful human beings at the core and therefore in need of God’s decisive, as well as ongoing cleansing. We saw that a big help in becoming the kind of person who loves righteousness and hates wickedness is by routinely washing in the water of the word, the Bible.
This week we continue with the question, “How does one go about being clean?” by looking at repentance and confession. To start, consider the sweetness of Psalm 45:7 which reads, “you have loved righteousness and hated wickedness, therefore God, your God has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.” Note the link between hating wickedness/loving righteousness and being someone who is really glad. I picture that person having little oil droplets of gladness drip from the hand of God as He holds it over his head. What a picture of pure and holy pleasure!
But will you be glad if you’re holding things in, like a closet full of skeletons? No. Will you love what is beautiful and holy and right? No. A big key therefore to being glad is being clean, and being clean involves living a life of confession and repentance. It’s like vomiting; if you’ve swallowed some poison, the way to get better is to throw it up. By confession, I mean coming before God and vomiting up before Him what you have done or said or thought, and when appropriate, going before the person against whom you have sinned, and coming clean with them. If you want to be really serious about your confession, it often means going before a third party and letting them in on it as well, becoming accountable to them, and having them intercede before God on your behalf.
By repentance I mean changing your mind, turning away from one path to follow another, forsaking paths of sin to walk in paths of righteousness. I think a big reason we see such unrighteous living among Christians today is that there is precious little confession and repentance going on, and this is owing to being so damn proud of ourselves that we cannot bear the thought of being humbled.
A life bereft of confession and repentance however is something false and hidden and ultimately unhappy. Consider David who for at least nine months tried to cover up his adultery with Bathsheba (arguably rape) and his murder of her husband Uriah, and yet said of this experience, “. . . when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your (God’s) hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.” Psalm 32:3,4. It was as though God was crushing him. It was as though David was living his life in an oven. But David turned the corner into freedom when he “acknowledged my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin.” (v.5) Freedom through confession and repentance is so beautiful, and the enslavement of their lack is so rotten and rotting.
Years ago I needed to go to Calgary, and while there I took the opportunity to visit a former girlfriend and her husband and children in Edmonton. The reason for the northern detour was simple; to confess and repent fully. As teenagers we had given ourselves to some of the license that is to be reserved and preserved in the holy bonds of matrimony, and later in my twenties when I surrendered to Christ at the cross, a conviction for these past sins began to gnaw at me, and I felt regret for what I had done. I had confessed this to God and turned away from the licentious behavior that had characterized my previous life, yet there was still this unclosed door, confession to her, and asking her forgiveness. When our visit was near its end and I went back to the car, I told her how sorry I was that I had done what I had done and been what I had been, and asked for her forgiveness. She looked at me with disbelief and said there were no apologies necessary.
What followed as I made my way back to Calgary in the middle of the night was so unique that I cannot say it has ever happened again. As I drove, my heart soared as I experienced what was simply ecstasy, over two hours of it. My heart had been made free because I took my confession and repentance all the way to its end. I recall parking the car on a farmer’s lane, getting out and sitting on the hood, leaning against the windshield in the black night, my whole being radiant with joy. I did not expect that kind of holy embrace, but looking back now I see what kind of weight those particular sins had exerted on me, evidenced by the bliss I now knew having taken that backpack off fully after >twenty years.
David experienced something similar, and finished off his great song with these words. May they be what we long and labor for as well.
“Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.” (v.11)